Imagine having to go through life as Ted Cruz.
I mean really: Waking up every morning into a world full of people who hate your rotten guts, where your allies think the world would be a better place if you were dead and your enemies revile you so much they made Donald Trump their nominee for President.
It must be just terrible for your twisted reptilian brain to constantly spend time thinking about how all decent people cross the street to avoid eye contact with you, but will stand and cheer when you're eventually horsewhipped naked on the floor of the United States Senate, and knowing - deep down in the place we keep just for our innermost thoughts - that they're completely right to do so, and that you'll come crawling back for more.
What a goddamned Human Turdbag; the man has no backbone - no skeleton or structure to speak of at all. He's just a sack full of shit and grease and shame.
It must be even harder to go through life being married to him. Jesus, somebody's married to him!
I'm almost sorry for Heidi (or at least the kids). Their family life became a subject of lewd conversation after Trump set his tabloid-owning ratfuckers on their marriage. When Trump threatened to "spill the beans" (whatever that meant) and tweeted unflattering pictures of her, we watched her husband fiercely call Trump out as though he really knew how to play the role of a Great Protector. It must have hurt to watch an elderly father and grandfather get dragged through Trump's tabloids himself in the bizarre, feverish JFK conspiracy theory the Republican nominee repeated with delight.
Indeed, it must have made it a proud moment in the Cruz household every time Ted used his well-practiced steely eye on the camera and threaten to whip it out on national television over the latest personal insult from Donald Trump.
And surely it felt more than a little vindicating for the Cruz family to watch a Republican Convention full of hopped-up fascists and brain-dead D-list internet trolls jeer and boo as he struggled to save the shattered remains of his party's soul by encouraging them to vote their conscience - as if any of them had a conscience to begin with. He almost managed to emerge from that catastrophrovention as a doomed hero, giving the last dire warning before complete electoral defeat.
Ah! But the horserace has a tendency to turn heroes into sniveling villains and the certain doom isn't quite as certain now, so yesterday Ted Cruz oozed out of his obscurity of the past few months to endorse Donald Trump before presumably being sent off to be fitted with a gimp suit. Maybe this at least means Chris Christie is no longer the lowest bitch in the harem and can finally move out from under the staircase.
For the last of the unplucked Republicans this is the sort of betrayal they surely must have expected from the Human Turdbag. But his wife? His father? His children? How do you spend a year being subjected to the vilest insults from the vilest Presidential candidate in living memory and then pretend it never happened and everything is fine when there isn't even any political advantage to gain by it?
All this from within the party of "family values" to boot. Hah! There's more honor and family loyalty among starving rats.
You burned the bridges both ways, you fucker, and this is going to hound you. It'll hound you until the day you die and there's a bipartisan petition to dump your body in the sewer.
