For the price he'll charge you might expect them to be made of something like mahogany or walnut but after your loved ones are dead and the National Guardsmen in hazmat suits are trying to place their corpses into a lime coated pit with thousands of others, it'll turn out to be made of that cheap backboard IKEA puts on their Billy bookcases, snap apart, and splut. Down goes some plastic-wrapped granny into a mass grave with all the dignity and grace of the office of President of the United States.
I mean, really, what in the good God damn is going on?
For a newshound like me who has been stocking up on nonperishable goods since January, the last month has been like watching a line of people playing chicken with a runaway freight train. Each person thinks they will jump out of the way in nick of time. Every single one of them fails.
And yet, every one of them sees the idiot ahead of them fail but thinks "Ahh, but that won't happen to me!" and when you ask them why, they reply "because I'll jump out of the way in time!" One could almost admire the audacity if the body count was theirs alone, and if Donald Trump didn't seem so eager to push the United States right back on to the tracks for reasons that escape even the most skilled shitbag whisperers. Fun and malice, I guess.
We are a species of morons, by and large. Dumb lumbering brutes with no effective sense of self preservation who would be perfectly content jump into a woodchipper if someone promised us a free soda because, Jesus, that sounds so much easier than doing something hard.
Nobody has truly been able to act in time, except maybe Iceland. Even here in Canada we aren't as smart as we love to say we are and for all of our pleas from smart experts and officials stressing the need to stay the hell apart and self-isolate we are still a nation with more than enough Boomer snowbirds who think all of this shit just happens to other people (like Natives or Mexicans) to overwhelm even the most robust of industrialized healthcare systems.
Watching a parade of brain-dead administration officials, conservative hacks, and Republican leaders talking up how noble it would be for the elderly to sacrifice themselves in a vain attempt to stem the hemorrhaging stock market and how 2% of a country of 320 million people isn't that much to ask to have a shot at reelection is total mind fuck. I've spent the last 48 hours wondering if I woke up in a parallel dimension where the only religion is a post-apocalyptic suicidal death cult, and everyone wears fetish gear and eats live babies. Nevermind that when the US
These are the same goons who used to try to scare Americans away from Obamacare reforms by claiming the healthcare systems in the rest of the civilized world had nefarious death panels. Boy golly, wait until next week when these fuckers get to see what battlefield triage looks like.
Any country that could avoid the deaths of more people than all of their wars combined 23 times over by just standing slightly further apart for a few months but can't even be assed to try that for more than a few days isn't truly meant for this world, and while personally I wouldn't have believed people would stand by a President who is fine killing 32 million of them out of a frothy combination of ego and dementia, I wouldn't have voted for him in the first place.
Apparently I'm supposed to be putting together a decent End of Days soundtrack, so here's your entry for today:
Did someone give you something to help you ease the pain?
Like the liquor in the bottle, we watched you slip away
And I feel as if I know you through the bars of a song
Always surrounded, but alone
But no goodbyes, you'll always be Miss America
We watched you fly but nothing's free, Miss America
And as you fall apart we just call it art
Was it so hard to breathe?
Wash your mangey hands you goddamn beasts.
